10/19/08 - time

Yesterday afternoon, my pastor's family lost a cousin/nephew. I must say that my heart grieves with them and for them because I know their pain, it hurts me to know that they are hurt, and I had been praying for their family member for a few months. I am beginning on this tragic note to make a huge statement: that could have been anyone. That in itself frightens me. It could have been my pastor, it could have been one of my family members, it could have been one of my best friends, and it even could have been me.

But along with this fact comes an even frightening reminder: we don't have much time left on this earth. Time is running out! Either we're going to die, or we (as in the believers) are going to be raptured. And as my friend Mandy puts it, I'm not ready to leave the school, let alone this world, knowing that people are dying on the inside. I especially cannot leave the school knowing that I never did my part as a believer to share the good news. And it's good news indeed! I sure would want someone to tell me that I could prevent eternal suffering. I would want someone to tell me that there's more to life than temporary highs on the things of this world. I would want someone to tell me that there is someone who can take care of everything when that "everything" of mine is falling apart.

There are so many that are so desperate for an answer. And here some of us are, knowing good and well how to solve that internal problem people struggle with throughout their whole lives, never doing anything about it! Does that not break your heart? Because it sure does mine.
To think of how many people I have let slip through my hands because I simply didn't want to speak up, or I told myself that tomorrow would be a better day... and mentally, tomorrow never came. I can think of at least two people who I have lost contact with that I never talked about God with. It hurts to think about them. One of those people are dead, and I'm not sure if they personally knew Jesus or not. It is a question I have to wait to have answered when I'm in Heaven. The other went down a totally different road than I did, and my heart hurts to think about the life they're truly missing out on.

My heart is so broken right now for this world, knowing that some people may never see God's grace because of someone else's selfishness. Who are we, to even take the things God has given us for granted? To forget all that He's done to us? To never even bother to think to talk to someone about God and how good He is. We say so many times that He deserves "all the Glory," but here so many of us are doing nothing to back our praises!

Even though I have been stepping it up, I am sick of sitting idle in any other area of my life. I'm ready to completely step up. I'm ready to use every opportunity of my time to connect with God, minister to people with God, and live the life and the purpose that God has called me to. I want to be a part of His plan. No more of this mentality of God fitting His schedule around me! No more of hoping that God will lay everything out when He is waiting for me to step out! No more waiting! No more of any of these foolish things that hold me back! It's time to reach for that next level.