10/25/08 - thoughts

Lately I have been extremely frustrated with people at school. For some, it is slowly becoming where I must love them in Jesus' name rather than by my own choice. People have simply been discouraging me, disappointing me, and have said or done things around me that have scarred my mind. After today, I felt so filthy by the end of the day. I seriously felt like I needed to take a shower and go to bed or something to make myself feel fresh. I must admit that this year, the school has been better than ever, but today was more difficult to get through.

If I could sum up my frustrations into one sentence, it would be this: I wish that people had standards. So many of the kids at my school aren't meeting any sort of expectation. And if they are meeting one, it certainly isn't a very good one! One person was talking amongst their friends behind me today, and the things they were saying... broke my heart. I won't go into details for my sake and your's, but I could tell that this person was choosing to not live up to anything. They were fine with low living and no standards. And their friends were, too! And the thing that bothered me even more is that I knew they knew what was right.

Sometimes I wish I could grab people, shake them by the shoulders, and ask them, "what in the WORLD are you DOING?!" Or maybe even slap a little bit of truth into them so they can get their act straight. Oh, how I wish things were really that easy. It drives me crazy that we all have the freedom to choose sometimes. So many people know for certain what the truth is ... but they choose to ignore it. That bothers me... and I can hardly imagine how upsetting that is for God!

But enough of my ranting. Basically, I am really wanting to see some changes in the school. I know that God is working already in a huge way. Perhaps I will never get to see the fruits of it, but I surely hope that people's hearts will be softened and that they will begin living above the typical teenager.